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I'm building up to telling people; I just don't know how to. I've been online for coming-out advice and there is plenty out there. There's a lot more gay people out there than I expected; apparently around one in ten blokes. That makes me feel less of a freak. I was in a large social group of sporty lads back in school. About thirty of us and we played football more or less every lunch time and sometimes after school, or at the weekend. Surely, at least someone else from that group is gay now; I often wonder who. There was a lot of fit guys in our group, but I wouldn't care which of them was gay; they were all decent lads. But I haven't kept in touch with any of them. My wallowing in self-pity has ruled out staying in touch with them. I just wish I had another gay person to talk to. I'm almost certain I have unconditional love from my mum, brother and sister and even from my dad too, in his old-fashioned kind of way. I can't recall him ever saying he loved me, but I'm sure he does. Isobel could not help but continue to ponder the letter Gerry had written. She was not going to change her mind but gradually a thought took shape. Statistics indicated that he would probably die before her but if she left everything to him or his successors it would show she really had cared deeply for him. If something happened to her like a fatal car accident then he would know.On Wednesday she drew up a will and then took it to Henry to witness. He was alarmed."You're not considering doing something stupid are you, Isobel dear?" No," she smiled and told him her reasoning adding, "There's no one else I want to leave anything to. Anyway I can always change it if I change my mind." All right," said resignedly. "It's up to you." He witnessed her signature.Isobel handed the will to Merle and asked her to make a copy for her and then file the original. Merle noted Henry's signature. She would not have to report to Eleanor as Mr Honey already knew. Merle had been very perturbed typing.
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